Frustrations

During a time in life, when most people think of slowing down, I have actually taken on a more demanding job. I have to admit that I love the job, but it is still very physically demanding. Mentally I could do most of it in my sleep, as I have managed several type of businesses and it seems to be what I can do very well, but the physical demands I am getting use to again. I have been out of the movie business on a full time basises for over 2 years and now that I am back into movie managing full time, my body is having to reacquaint itself with that part of the job. Walking for up to 8 hours at a time with very few chances to sit down, cleaning theatres, getting stock, helping customers, watching employees to make sure they are on top of things and keep them motivated to do their best, all falls into a day at work for me.


My belief in management is to lead by example, am I perfect at it no, but I try. If you, as a manager are not helping when help is needed, then how can you expect your employees to step up and try to do their best? How can you expect them to respect you and your authority over them. Yes I understand that the authority part is suppose to be a given, but which is better- to basically tell them, "Do as I say, not as I do- because I said to do it." Or "Do as I say because I do it too." You may think that I am looking for their approval or friendship and that is why I get my hands dirty and help the employees do their job, plus I do mine, but that is not it. When I do my job to the best of my ability and help them to get their job done when they need help, or I make sure that what they need to do their job is ready for them, then it makes my job easier in so many ways.


Another belief I have as a manager is that we should be like coaches, team builders! If my team of employees care about their job and each other and the management staff, then guess what..... there are better results when we are checked by corporate! How do you do this "team building" you may ask, well there are several task that you as a manager must perform. First is you have to look at yourself. The Bible, which should be the guide to live by says in Matthew 7:3 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"(NIV translation). In short look at yourself first, what needs to change there first? Do you need to first step up and do your job as a manager better? The second thing I believe is vital is praise to the staff. How can you praise them? Look for things they do the way it is correct to do and thank them. Thank them at the end of the shift, of if they have done something that is especially hard or not very pleasant to do. Pats on the back are always welcome if if you think they really are not that kind of person. Humans in a lot of ways are the same and we all need those stokes, the praises, the affirmation that what we are doing is right and good. While you are looking for ways to praise and thank employees and other managers, you and also start to treat them with RESPECT! The old adage of you get more flies with honey that vinegar is very true. How much further would you get with someone if you ask rather than demanded. Manager that thrust their authority on others, usually are afraid of loosing it. They may have the authority in name, but it will always be an uphill fight for them to get things done. Their will always be conflict. Often this type of manager lives by the saying, "Do as I say, not as I do." because they are too lazy to really do the work.


Lastly, to build a team from your employees, contest are always fun. There are so many ways to reward them. It usually does not take a big expensive thing, but one that is a gift, not $$ off something if you buy something. There is always team within the employees that can compete for the title of the best at ...... well whatever you need to work on improving. The contest and team competition can be used to train or re-train so that employees improve in the areas you need and they have some fun doing it. By the time the contest or competition is over, they have performed the task often enough that it is now habit and you can move on to the next item that needs improvement.


You know I have been not yet addressed the title of this post and that is FRUSTRATION!


As a manager, the most frustrating thing that comes up is working hard while other managers, don't pull their load and you end up doing both your work and theirs. Plus, in all honesty, except for maybe 3 managers and a 3 - 4 employees, I am old enough to be everyone there's mother and I can run circles around them, at least when I am concessions manager or floor manager.


Where is the work ethic? Why are they so lazy, even other managers will be sitting doing nothing while a few of us pull the load. You just want to scream when you are sweating and you walk into a back area to get something and you find another manager, on a cell phone, or when you need help, they have disappeared. There is so much more, but if I go into much detail, it may be apparent that my frustrations is aimed at one person and that would not be professional!


So in short, look at yourself for faults before you point the finger, treat others with respect- whether they are above or below you in the pecking order, give people praise (look for things) and lastly stick with the adage, "Do as I Do and I will not ask you to anything I would not be willing to do myself or help do."


Managing is very similar to being a parent. In both positions you train, praise, support, learn to trust and respect, then start the process all over again, sometimes on the same point, remembering that Proverbs says that patience is a virtue. Then often wondering why is virtue good, do I really want it? But in the long run, your answer is yes to both questions.


Good luck if you are an aspiring manager.

A Night With Bailey

A couple of weeks ago, we had the great privilege of having Bailey Grace Maxwell, our grand-daughter, as our guest for the night. I picked her up on October 30th about 7:00 in the evening after she had been to a Halloween Party at the Pavilion. Bailey was dressed as a Bee and was so cute. When she came into the house I was standing there and she cried out "Gandma!"and ran to me with her arm open. After getting and giving hugs I got a picture of her in costume. After Nicole, her mother, got her things ready and Bailey gave kisses to Nick, my son and her father, and Nicole, she looked up at me and said, "Going to gandma's house now!" And away we went.
I secured her in her car seat and away we went.
We got home and she greeted "Ganpa and Uc Aex" as she says. She immediately ran to get out her toys at our house. She has a toy that blows balls out, which when they come flying out she squeals and laughs. Such a joyous sound to my ears. It is funny that when my own children would do that over and over, I would shhhhh them, but when your grandchild does it, it is a totally different sound. Next she played with another toy that makes noise when she pushes the button. She would laugh and dance as the music played and we sat and participated with her. Again, noise toys, when the boys were young, were often lost or the batteries were long gone and could not be replaced. The difference between parenthood and grand parenthood is as different night and day. So many things that we as parents stop and have no patience for, we as grandparents allow and even enjoy with our grandchildren.
After some time of playing and an OK from her father for her to stay up a little late, we got ready for bed. We watched Scooby Doo while we brushed teeth and hair, put on PJ's and crawled in bed. We had Bailey's duck, frog, blanket, Blues Clues' pillow and a bear with rabbit ears(the bear was a gift to me from Mark), but Bailey wanted it in bed too. So the 7 of us climbed under the covers and hugged and kissed goodnight. Bailey closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them again, looked over at me and smiled and said something like this,
gandma sleep too? I said oh yes it is time for gandma to go to sleep too. We proceeded to talk for awhile before she finally was ready to actually go to sleep. I had forgotten what it was like to sleep with a 2 year old. They do not sleep in the same position all night. The rest of the night for me was made of short naps. Bailey talks in her sleep, turns cross ways of the bed with her feet in my side then head at my feet, then her head in my ribs. Next her head was on my stomach and finally on my shoulder. She never woke up once during all this turning and talking.
The next morning about 8:00 Bailey awoke and said "Gandma... up?" I awoke and ask her if she was ready to get up. She replied, "OK! I wet my diaper." I told her that is OK, lets get you dry and see if you can blue circle. To Bailey, blue circle is going to the bathroom. She and I got up, did the bathroom thing, dressed, brushed air and teeth, and came down to fix breakfast.
After breakfast, I needed to do the dishes and she played with Ganpa and Uc Aex for a bit, then she saw the bubbles in the sink. And that was that, she wanted to play in the bubbles, so we cleaned the sink up and made a sink full of bubbles for her to play with. She and I built a tall bubble tower with some help from Uncle Alex. After the timer went off, which meant, bubble time over, we clean up and went on to another activity. It was raining, so we could not feed the ducks; however, trying to be a good grandma, I had other activities ready. Bailey, Uncle Alex, Grandpa and Grandma got out the play dough. We had all kinds of things to cut the play dough with and she had such fun with it. Lunch was from Wendy's - hamburger, fried, oranges, milk and a small spoon of ice cream. Bailey loves hamburgers and fries. After lunch, we colored for a bit, then got her dolls out and "fed" them their bottles. When the babies were full, I took Bailey into the living room and she played the panio. She really enjoys music! Then back into the den to play fetch with Tessa. Bailey gets so excited throwing the ball. She seems to use both hands. Alot like her father. Nick would write right handed, but plays golf and baseball as though he is lefthanded. Then all too soon it was 1:00, mom and dad came to pick her up.
We sent her home with a special Halloween bag and a picture that Grandpa printed for her of Bailey and her bubble tower. It was not long after she left that I missed her so much.
Passing thoughts:
As a parent, we have the responsibility to raise our children and teach them values and faith in God and their savior, Christ, so that they are ready to live in society and be successful. We love our children unconditionally, but sometimes, we are so involved in raising them and making a living to support them, that a wall can easily be built between children and their parents. We realize that all of sudden, they are grown and our job is over. but then......
Grand parenthood .....As a grandparent, we want to pass on the same values, but it is not our responsibility to make sure that they are ready to live on their own when they are grown. We are giving the gift of less responsibility and the even greater gift of playing, having fun and being hopefully a confident, friend and someone they can feel unconditional love from. Someone they look forward to see and spend time with. Grandparents seem to be able to pass on the same values to grandchildren with less effort than when we were parents. If I could pass on some wisdom to parents, I think it would be sometimes less force on an issue actually pushes it through into the mind easier. I hope that makes sense. I guess it is like trying to push a feather into a hole with a hammer. The feather would crush, but a gentle touch, would allow the feather to go into the hole without harm.